Shame is lame

shame

Brené Brown has a Ted Talk about shame that I want to share on here. She has a lot of books that can bring people understanding and healing. The book that goes with this Ted Talk is called The Power of Vulnerability. She also wrote The Gifts of Imperfection and I Thought It Was Just Me. I really want to read both of those soon. Anyways we watched this Ted Talk in my Cultural Aspects of Health and Illness class today and I got emotional as I listened to her talk. The reason why it made me cry was because Brené Brown’s break down of shame was taught to me by one of my therapists and it really helped me. It helped me understand why I sink into depression and stay in it. It helped me understand that the reason why I felt so sad all of the time was because I had issues that were fueled by shame. There is a big difference between shame and guilt. Guilt is like “I did something bad” and shame is “I am bad.” You can’t really grow or get better if you believe you are bad or stupid or unlovable or unacceptable. Thoughts like those fueled my self hatred and caused me to be less than compassionate with myself. Just listen to every minute of this Ted Talk and you will understand what I’m trying to explain. You’ll understand why you have to take the time to figure out why you believe you are unworthy of love, compassion, and acceptance. Once you do you can work on healing it and once it heals you will be freed of self limiting beliefs and unhappiness. I promise. You might also want to take this shame test while you’re at it and reflect on your results.  Brené Browns TED TALK

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2 thoughts on “Shame is lame

  1. I loved this Ted talk. I’ve watched some of her and Kristin Neff talk about compassion but I totally forgot about the shame. Taking the test was a big eyeopener as well. Thank you for sharing this! I have a thing that I have no idea how I developed but I call her my Guru. She is my inner wisdom and she can be funny and sarcastic. This Guru helps me with my beliefs and sometimes when I take things WAY too seriously or panic she helps me break it down and see its not a big deal. She makes sense of things that are clouded by family and friends beliefs, religion, politics, etc. Do you do anything like that or have any tips on how to notice the shame?

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    1. Well Brené Brown says that shame grows in secrecy, silence and judgement so to combat it we have to talk about it and be empathetic. I mostly feel shame when I’m getting to know a new person, doing an interview for a new job, or anything that has to do with dating. I feel shame when I’m getting to know someone because I think I’ll mess something up or somehow not be good enough to having a lasting and loving relationship . I feel shame in a job interview or during a test at school because I don’t think I’ll be competent or smart enough. I feel shame when it comes to dating because I don’t know if I’ll be lovable enough or beautiful enough. I notice these thoughts and this powerful emotion when my moods starts to shift. I get more and more sad and feel worse and worse about myself. I haven’t got to that place in a while though because now I’m better at catching the thoughts instead of letting them go on and on until I’m in despair. When I notice them I tell myself the opposite of what I just said. That doesn’t even mean I completely rule out reality. For example, for a job interview I could say I’m probably not competent for this job and I’ll fight it by saying if I don’t have enough experience I’ll learn and if I don’t get the job I’ll get hired somewhere that I do have enough experience for. It’s not about if I’m good enough or not I’m just trying to find the right fit for me and an employer. Be conscious of the way you talk to yourself and you will notice the shame. Take a minute and ask yourself if you would ever let your thoughts to yourself be said out loud to someone you love. If the answer is no then you have a lot of work to do!

      Liked by 1 person

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