Forgiveness

forgiveness

 

          I realized something last week. I can go over situations and bad things that have happened to me over and over in my head. I can sit there and think of how someone hurt me or wronged me almost all day. I’ll cry as I remember the hurt and don’t understand why it happened or why they treated me a certain way. I’ll think of what I did wrong and how I could have fixed it. Once I realize my mistakes I try to better myself. I try to find healing for the hurt and growth from my mistakes.                                        Here’s the problem though even after all of that healing and growth I can still sit there and go over the situations in my head over and over again. Trying to understand how someone could be so hurtful. I’ll think of things I wish I would have known and wish I would have said. I’ll imagine myself standing up for myself instead of shrinking and taking all of the blame. I’ll think of ways that justice would have been served for me or revenge that I can get, hoping I’ll feel better, or maybe they will feel just as bad as I did. I finally realized and accepted something last week. You can not move forward or be completely healed until you forgive.                                                                                                       Forgive yourself for not knowing what you know before you lived it. Forgive yourself for letting people treat you poorly. Forgive yourself for accepting pain, hurt, and abuse that you did not deserve. That part is hard but it’s harder to look at the person who hurt you and forgive them. Forgive them for being unkind. For causing you pain. For not seeing your worth and goodness you had to offer. Forgive them for not loving themselves and for rejecting your pure intentions and unconditional love. For someone to reject that, they must be hurting deeply on the inside. With this person I will never receive an apology. They will never acknowledge the pain that they caused me and be sorry for it but I still forgive them.                                                                                                                                I like the quote at the beginning of this, “In the shadow of my hurt, forgiveness feels like a decision to reward my enemy. But in the shadow of the cross, forgiveness is merely a gift from one undeserving soul to another.” This is not just a quote that I like, this is a quote that pierces my heart. I know that forgiving completely and loving unconditionally is possible because of Jesus Christ. This past year my heart and soul have been healed by him but last week I was finally able to forgive someone through him. He is the perfect example of forgiveness and love. After being crucified, abused, betrayed, and mocked while hanging on the cross he said “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” I realized that forgiveness is the ultimate act of love because Christ forgives us through his pure and unconditional love. I want to be like that. I want to be like him. As I prayed to be able to forgive this person I was filled with peace and love. I am no longer filled with anxiety, hurt, or confusion. It’s freeing. Forgiveness is not accepting bad behavior and sometimes it means you can’t trust another person again, it means that you can let go of all the negativity and move on. It means that even if the person who hurt you never takes responsibility you will be ok and be able to move forward with peace in your heart. It means that you can be happy and freed from the negative tie to that abusive person. It means that you will blossom as you love yourself instead of doubting who you are because of the mistreatment you received. The way someone treats you says a lot more about them than it does about you. Walk away with confidence in your being and complete forgiveness in your heart and you will live a happier life. Forgiveness quotes

 

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