We don’t have to do it all alone. We were never meant to. -Brene Brown
I love this quote by Brene Brown because I think that we forget that it’s true. It’s true that we were not meant to go through life bearing our burdens and heart aches all alone. Then why do we do it? Why do we convince ourselves that we don’t need anyone else or that no one cares or that we are better off keeping it to ourselves? It is because we are hurt and we lack self love/compassion. Could you imagine telling someone that no one cares about them or that they don’t need anyone else or that they are better of keeping it to themselves! Then why are you saying those kinds of things to yourself? Another problem is that sometimes we do decide to open up and be vulnerable with someone and they hurt us. They betray us. They cause us a pain we didn’t know was possible. It’s not ok that you got hurt but that doesn’t mean that you will never be able to open up again. It doesn’t mean that anyone you are vulnerable with is going to hurt you. It does mean that you have to take many lessons from the person that did hurt you. Did this person love them self? Did this person exemplify a happy and healthy life that you wanted? Did this person have self destructive habits and when they did hurt you did they refuse to take responsibility? Why would you trust your heart with someone like that? Even if you are still in contact with them you can’t be willing to hand over your heart to them when they don’t even treasure their own. Don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do. Observe the way they live their life and the way they treat the people who are closest to them. Pay attention to what they talk about and where they focus their energy. If they tell you everything you want to hear and promise you everything you want to be promised then RUN. People aren’t perfect so they shouldn’t be saying everything you want to hear and promising you everything they want to be promised, it’s a trap. If they love you they will offer you a shoulder to cry on and a warm embrace with clear boundaries and expectations for them self and for you. If they have no boundaries and give empty promises consistently then they have no clue how to take care of them self and their problems and their is no way in hell they can offer you authentic support. They just aren’t capable, they never took the time to learn. Another lesson to take away from a heart breaking experience is that you are worth more than that and you need to take care of yourself. Take care of your own heart. Take care of your emotional needs. Be kind to yourself in your thoughts. Validate yourself. Take care of your physical body. Do all of that and you will be freed from the belief that you are only valuable and worthy of love if it is coming from someone who is just as mean to them self as you are to yourself. You don’t have to do it all alone. You were never meant to. So take the time to build yourself up and heal your heart so that you can trust others and build meaningful, happy relationships. Relationships are supposed to bring you support and joy. Not stress and sadness. Imagine your life filled with people that offer that genuine support and friendship, it will be so happy. You don’t have to do it all alone. You were never meant to.